I'm officially obsessed with little notebooks.
And hardcovers! x)

Rubbish. (i really like this word. heh)

We were having this lesson at the φροντιστήριο (scroll down to see what the heck that is), talking about expecting messiahs (In a political or social way, not talking about religion), saying, in a few words, that we shouldn't expect this perfect person to change everything, it just doesn't make sense that someone will suddenly appear and save us. It's also a kind of fanaticism when you think that way of someone cause he's just a person, and, well, it's not good.
At some point, my teacher said,
- Being in love is a form of expecting messiahs too, right? Believing that this one person is so great, they will change everything and you should follow them wherever they lead you to...
It's one of those things nobody really pays attention to, but i analyze it in my head and am a kinda shocked- when he said it i immediately nodded and realized i really agree to that.
When i say i was kinda shocked, it was cause i'm like... people actually believe that stuff and they think their lives revolve around something that's so... in their heads.
And i don't know... Realizing that also made me realize i don't believe in being in love anymore, and i felt kinda weird. I mean, yeah. I knew i don't believe in doing anything with anyone if you don't feel anything about them. But how are you supposed to suddenly feel stuff for someone..? How does this happen with a stranger, for example? I don't believe it happens.
I don't think i'll change my mind anytime soon, and i don't actually mind. I don't think being alone is bad. Actually, i'm TRYING to be alone lately.
- i was trying to make a point but nevermind, i hope you get it anyway-
I'm going out tomorrow and i'm so excited about going out by myself again. Not excited as in jumping around. It's in a calm way.

mommy, when i grow up i'll marry myself and we'll live happily ever after .

I think that if everyone saw things from my point of view, the world would be a better place... Ok. I KNOW this is one of the most selfish things to say. I also know that the world wouldn't be so nice if everyone was the same, we'd be ruined then. But you know what i mean.
I have those moments that i just want to laugh out because everyone is acting so weird. They're taking things SO seriously.
I don't know... The way i think lately is kinda weird. I can't explain. I wish i could -and think i will, eventually, but it will take ages. But it's a good change, i can say that.
Today was the first day of school, after the holidays. It was ok, i guess. But my first thought was "too much noise, too many people!!" I realized the other day, that being with myself a lot makes me happy. I feel a distance from people, and i don't think it's bad I mean it makes me feel good. And act less stupid. I also don't feel the need to think about them.
I also noticed that i'm naturally not myself around people. I'm standing there, everything is ok, and if i start talking to someone it's likely that i'll start complaining about stuff that i don't really mind.
I wanna spend more time with myself :|

i've been studying today...

and i felt like being creative in the process x)

Ch- ch- changes!

Wouldn't it be fun if I had to move in some other city next year? And I'd have to live by myself? I'm thinking about it lately. I guess I'd miss my friends but don't think it would be close to unbearable pain. I mean I was just away from Athens, for a week, during the holidays, and it was fine. I didn't miss much. I didn't even feel like my environment had changed -even though i was in a small village with no Starbucks there. I never expected to say that, but maybe I do need changes. And anyway, going to 'university' or something might be my only chance to live somewhere else, since i don't see myself ever deciding to leave Athens all of a sudden in any other case.
I always repeat I want my life to be stable, and think of being with the same person for, like, ever, but lately i'm starting to think differently. After all, i don't like doing the same things with the same people everyday, so why thinking that this will change 'then'? It's weird that i'm saying all that stuff, but i guess life can't be stable after all, so it's good as well.

PS: I don't know why i write every morning at 9 am x)

New year's resolutions

I was trying to think of a new year's resolution. Not because I think January 1st is different from any other day, but just because it's a 'chance' to make a promise to myself to do something and commit to it. But i can't think of anything that I could actually do, instead of just having it on my mind (like all the previous years' ones).
My resolutions are like my attempts to have a blog: There are some blogs i love reading, and they motivate me to do something like that. I have something in my head, and i get excited about the whole idea at first, but after a while i have nothing to write about, and-- i guess i know how this is going to end up like.
But i had to try now that i felt like it. One of the reasons is to stop my English skills from abandoning me.
Happy new year, whoever you are.